Christmas finally came to an end for me today as I took down the tree, put the lights neatly into their box and took down the holly from the pictures and fire place. The house looks so bare and sad, it almost feels empty. To be honest I am pleased Christmas is over and I never imagined I would say that as someone who has always loved Christmas and all its festivities.
This Christmas was different to all the rest, it was the first without my brother. For those reading this who don't know me, he died suddenly in April aged just twenty years. For me this year Christmas mearly emphasized that he is not here and god does that harsh reality hurt.
I have been in a very reflective mood today thinking about the year that has gone and the one that lies ahead. Fearing the unknown and wondering whether a date for his inquest will ever be set.
In true domestic goddess style I have thrown my energy, upset and anger into my house work and gave it a good new years clean. Even my daughter helped and we ended up having quite a giggle.
So now I am sitting in not so much an empty and bare room but a room which is clean and ready to face whatever this year throws at me.
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