Like most people I find Christmas and the New Year a great opportunity to catch up with family and friends. This is something I usually love, but this time to swap stories etc is currently tainted by one thing which drives me mad.
Since having my daughter nearly three years ago, every time I see an Aunty, friends of the family or indeed some friends of mine, they insist on asking me (like its a ritual of theirs) "Are you having another? Any news you want to share? Any baby plans for 2008?"
GRRRRRRRRRRRR
First of all I think this is a very personal question which you should just not walk up to someone and ask. What if someone had a medical condition they did not want to discuss which meant they could not have children. How would these questions make them feel? They may want more children but it may be medically impossible.
I am also a great believer that if my hubby and I chose to have another child, I would not discuss our plans with the world and his mother, I would wait until an appropriate time when I was pregnant and then tell them.
When they asked the question this year, I promptly replied "I am busy doing my course" to try and divert their attention, but oh no they go straight back for more. "Oh you cannot just have one, they will be lonely, you will regret it".
By they way I have not said to them that we will only stay at one, they just assume this is what we are doing. Never assume!
If they don't feel they are getting enough information to sattisfy their curiosity then they proceed to ask my parents. This drives me even crazier.
To be honest, we have really enjoyed watching our little one grow over the past two and a bit years and feel having one at this stage has meant we can devote more time to her. We then had Johns death which to be quite honest, took away any bit of faith I had in the NHS and has made me nervous about ever going into hospital, so you may see why we hesitate in making a final decision. Especially when I had an emergency c-section last time.
Would it be so bad if our little one was an only child? Would we be selfish and bad parents? Would she be lonely and resent us for it?
I cannot answer these questions and only our little one could in time, if we chose this path.
I just wish people would stop and think before asking these very personal questions. We have had a tough time and what would be a simple decision for most couples to make, is not a simple one for us. So please stop asking and let us enjoy being the best parents we can be.
